Children grow up with keys around their necks, delivering themselves to school, afterschool and then home alone. Teenagers feel the clutching synchronicity of new friendships, only to realize that it was a phase, and they are not, as deemed, important to said new pals. Just today, my Juniors read Slam poems aimed at attacking social issues, and at least a third were of boundary lines drawn and redrawn around clicks and markers of acceptability.
It’s nothing new, isolation, neglect, alienation. But I’ve been mulling this over, and seeing it in a new way. All these lead to a sense of oddball freedom. I’m alone because you ditched me– now let me pretend I chose this. Let me work the pretend until it is a situation whereby you unintentionally empower me. I will change my viewpoint, redraw the parameters.
Adults take it to a new level, simply recreating what they once knew. They travel or work so much they can’t build a life. They insulate their worlds so that no new abandonment will fall on their laps, and then, unintentionally, they chip away the new hope.
So how do we stop creating situations whereby we alienate ourselves to feel the normalcy of that freedom? How do we create intimacy in freedom?
I don’t know.
Rob Brenzy paraphrases Jung to say that “we don’t so much solve our problems as we outgrow them. We add capacities and experiences that eventually make us bigger than the problems.”